Some Prison Tips for Bernie Madoff

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So Bernie Madoff’s spending the weekend in a 7-by-8 jail cell, and come June 16, he’s likely to start a lengthy stint in federal prison. Sure, he’ll probably go to a minimum-security facility, but his new surroundings will take some getting used to. Fortunately, Mother Jones is here to help. While researching our package on the prison meltdown last year, we came across all kinds of helpful info for the would-be white-collar convict. A few tips Madoff might find useful: One, when a fellow prisoner talks about “high class,” he’s more likely talking about Hepatitis C than season tickets to the Met. Two, be wary of opaque financial transactions with shady characters: As a former prisoner told us, “If you bum a smoke and the guy with the cigarettes says, ‘Sure, it’s a twofer,’ you should know a twofer means, ‘I give you one for two, so now you owe me.'” And lastly, read the rest of our advice while you still can—Mother Jones is contraband in some joints.

Photo by Flickr user sabeth718 used under a CC License

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BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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