January/February 2009 Issue

Ahoy, Special Interest Maties!

Nine supposedly fun cruises you’ll never do again.

Illustration: Gordon Studer

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Ahoy, special-interest maties! If classic cruise activities like shuffleboard and midnight buffets don’t float your boat, fear not. With apologies to the late David Foster Wallace, here are some other niches in the sea.

MacMania Cruise Six days of seminars such as “Backing Up Your Mac” and “The Nooks and Crannies of the Mac OS”; past celebrity passengers have included Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak.
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Reboot over the railing

Gothic Cruise Now in its 19th year, a week of Rocky Horror nights, masquerade balls, and boatloads of eyeliner
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Slather on the spf 100

The Dr. Laura Cruise Last year’s voyage included four days of private book signings, wine tasting, fitness and makeover demos, and intimate morning walks with the conservative radio host.
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Learn about the proper care and feeding of cabana boys

Smoking Cessation Cruise Eight days of counseling and nonstop distracting entertainment
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Ignore that you are stuck on a long white object with smoke coming out of it

The Great Gig in the Sea Pink Floyd Cruise Three days with cover band Think Floyd USA
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Write “wish you were here” postcards

Bloggers’ Cruise Five days with Carnival Cruise director John Heald, who blogs about…cruises
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: H/T John Heald

Girl’s Get-a-Way Cruise Four days of single-sex Christian sailing, with G-rated stand-up, “Modest Is Hottest” fashion shows, and Full House star Candace “D.J.” Cameron Bure
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Kiss tan lines goodbye with your long-sleeved bathing suit

Sandra Day O’Connor Cruise Twelve days on the high seas with the ex-high court justice
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: Wear your “friend of the court” briefs

Creation Cruise Last year’s passengers spent seven days at rest, marveling at Alaska’s glaciers—which are only 6,000 years old!
Supposedly Fun Thing You’ll Never Do Again: See polar bears before God calls them home

WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

payment methods

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