Adventures in Sexist Pork Industry Pamphlets

Ladies, rejoice: Thanks to the Pork Information Bureau, women can finally use a BBQ—just like men!

TDMuldoon/Shutterstock

Fight disinformation. Get a daily recap of the facts that matter. Sign up for the free Mother Jones newsletter.

With July 4th approaching, perhaps you’re planning for the cornerstone of patriotic party-making: the barbeque. An Americana standard, this is the sacred time when friends and family gather round the grill. Dad flips burgers, and Mom, well, she sets out the lemonade or fusses over the napkins or something.

Well ladies, behold the post-feminist era’s gift to you: Now you can turn the tables on your unsuspecting spouse/lover/friend/dad with “Girl Grill Power!” a guide to help ladies navigate the open pit, presented by “The Other White Meat” campaign.

Pork Information BureauPork Information Bureau

According to the Pork Information Bureau, here’s what you need to know to become a lady-grillmaster:

1) Confused? Just pretend your grill is a man you’re trying to romance.

PIB

This pamphlet is your staple “little black dress” to ensure you look good on your “first date with the grate.” Just “work it,” and your first hangout with Mr. Char-Broil will be a smashing success!

2) Grilling meat will make you “one hot mamma.”

PIBAnd another thing that will make you the most fetching of grill-ladies? Absolutely no risk-taking at all when it comes to your homecooking. Heaven forbid you should gamble on your family’s taste buds! Just make “certain they’re satisfied,” and you’ll “light up the night.”

3) You’ll probably better understand how to prepare meat for the grill if the directions are couched in a sexual metaphor.

PIB

The Pork Information Bureau recommends that, when prepping your grub, you “rub it right” with the “Spicy Girl’s Dry Rub,” which you can use a little or a lot of, “depending on your mood.” Really?

4) But don’t forget about gender equity!

PIBWouldn’t want to make your man feel like you’re treading his territory, i.e. “the grilling throne”. And of course your partner is a man, because meat grilling is something only heterosexual couples do.

5) Everything should be perfect. Always and forever.

PIBIf your table is absolutely flawless, all your female friends will be double-floored by your gender-bending grill antics.

6) Grilling is empowerment!

PIB

Yeah, enough with the booze already. Think of the calories! And speaking of: You might not know what “loin” means—tough word, I know—but just be sure it’s on your meat label. That means it’s healthy! And another vocab tip: “Loin” is two words. No, really:

HERE ARE THE FACTS:

Our fall fundraising drive is off to a rough start, and we very much need to raise $250,000 in the next couple of weeks. If you value the journalism you get from Mother Jones, please help us do it with a donation today.

As we wrote over the summer, traffic has been down at Mother Jones and a lot of sites with many people thinking news is less important now that Donald Trump is no longer president. But if you're reading this, you're not one of those people, and we're hoping we can rally support from folks like you who really get why our reporting matters right now. And that's how it's always worked: For 45 years now, a relatively small group of readers (compared to everyone we reach) who pitch in from time to time has allowed Mother Jones to do the type of journalism the moment demands and keep it free for everyone else.

Please pitch in with a donation during our fall fundraising drive if you can. We can't afford to come up short, and there's still a long way to go by November 5.

payment methods

ONE MORE QUICK THING:

Our fall fundraising drive is off to a rough start, and we very much need to raise $250,000 in the next couple of weeks. If you value the journalism you get from Mother Jones, please help us do it with a donation today.

As we wrote over the summer, traffic has been down at Mother Jones and a lot of sites with many people thinking news is less important now that Donald Trump is no longer president. But if you're reading this, you're not one of those people, and we're hoping we can rally support from folks like you who really get why our reporting matters right now. And that's how it's always worked: For 45 years now, a relatively small group of readers (compared to everyone we reach) who pitch in from time to time has allowed Mother Jones to do the type of journalism the moment demands and keep it free for everyone else.

Please pitch in with a donation during our fall fundraising drive if you can. We can't afford to come up short, and there's still a long way to go by November 5.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate