Romaine Lettuce Is Great But You Shouldn’t Eat It Right Now Because the CDC Says It’s Unsafe

That still doesn’t mean the pretentious lettuce elitists are right.

This is a person who loves romaine lettuce but just got news from the CDC that they're going to have to stop eating it for a while. They were at the beach when they heard.Antonio Guillem/iStock

Let our journalists help you make sense of the noise: Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily newsletter and get a recap of news that matters.

A lot of fancy people who live in ivory towers and spend their days lounging around on plush furniture from Design Within Reach sipping premium raw water and talking about Foucault think romaine lettuce is bad and that if you eat it you are as uninspired as most American filmmakers (with the exception of David Lynch, whom they praise endlessly). But these elites are wrong.

Romaine lettuce is great. It’s the lettuce in Caesar salad! People love Caesar salad. You can buy Caesar salads on airplanes. That is how popular Caesar salads are. Romaine is great because it has a nice crunch, but it isn’t all crunch like iceberg, which the food elitists do not even dignify to acknowledge. Romaine also has a nice leafy bit, but it isn’t just a soft flaccid leaf, like bibb. I also like the taste, though I can’t describe it because I did not attend the finest schools in Paris. It’s cool that it’s sometimes chopped, but then sometimes not chopped—which leads me to a fork-and-knife Caesar, which is a fun indulgence! Not every day. No one is having fork-and-knife Caesars every day. That is a distraction. But once in a while, you want to celebrate something nice and you have a nice fork-and-knife Caesar. And it’s nice! But then some rich man with a goatee comes up to you and you don’t even know this guy but he says, “Oh yeah, if you like that, you’ll love a kale Caesar.” No, dude. Wrong. I have had a kale Caesar. They are not good. Kale Caesars are disgusting.

In general people should stop telling other people what foods they should and should not eat. Food elitism sows division in our kitchens. The only people who should be telling people what not to eat is the Center for Disease Control. When the CDC says you shouldn’t eat romaine, which is now because it has E. coli, then okay, you shouldn’t eat romaine. (Seriously, you definitely shouldn’t eat it right now.) But when the Aspen Ideas crowd tells you to stop eating romaine because “endives are better,” you should ignore them.

IT'S NOT THAT WE'RE SCREWED WITHOUT TRUMP:

"It's that we're screwed with or without him if we can't show the public that what we do matters for the long term," writes Mother Jones CEO Monika Bauerlein as she kicks off our drive to raise $350,000 in donations from readers by July 17.

This is a big one for us. It's our first time asking for an outpouring of support since screams of FAKE NEWS and so much of what Trump stood for made everything we do so visceral. Like most newsrooms, we face incredibly hard budget realities, and it's unnerving needing to raise big money when traffic is down.

So, as we ask you to consider supporting our team's journalism, we thought we'd slow down and check in about where Mother Jones is and where we're going after the chaotic last several years. This comparatively slow moment is also an urgent one for Mother Jones: You can read more in "Slow News Is Good News," and if you're able to, please support our team's hard-hitting journalism and help us reach our big $350,000 goal with a donation today.

payment methods

IT'S NOT THAT WE'RE SCREWED WITHOUT TRUMP:

"It's that we're screwed with or without him if we can't show the public that what we do matters for the long term," writes Mother Jones CEO Monika Bauerlein as she kicks off our drive to raise $350,000 in donations from readers by July 17.

This is a big one for us. So, as we ask you to consider supporting our team's journalism, we thought we'd slow down and check in about where Mother Jones is and where we're going after the chaotic last several years. This comparatively slow moment is also an urgent one for Mother Jones: You can read more in "Slow News Is Good News," and if you're able to, please support our team's hard-hitting journalism and help us reach our big $350,000 goal with a donation today.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate