Here’s the Mean iPhone Post I Promised You


So the new iPhone 5S comes in new colors; has a faster processor; and a slightly better camera; and a fingerprint sensor. Plus there’s a motion sensor chip built in, which is supposed to be great for exercise apps. This is in addition to the lower-priced iPhone 5C, which is not just plastic, but “unapologetically plastic.” This possibly sets a new world record for the most pretentiously Apple-ish thing ever said.

I know that everyone is going to immediately accuse me of hating Apple, despite the many Apple products I currently own,1 but this sure doesn’t sound very revolutionary. In fact, it sounds tired. That’s no big surprise, really, since the smartphone space is getting pretty mature. And maybe it doesn’t matter. For now, at least, I imagine that gazillions of people will convince themselves that a silver faceplate and a fingerprint sensor are the coolest gizmos in the world if Apple says they are. And the cheaper 5C is certainly a perfectly good attempt to do a bit of old-school market segmentation.

As for me, my 4S continues to work fine. I sure don’t see anything in today’s announcement to make me rush out and want to replace it.

1In fact, I hate Apple because of the many Apple products I own. Their relentless desire to control what customers can and can’t do with their products drives me up a wall.

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Fact:

In-depth journalism that investigates the powerful takes real money and is so damn important right now.But it doesn’t take a Mother Jones investigation to know that billionaires and corporations will never fund the type of reporting (like they do politicians) we do that exists to help bring about change. Instead, our mission-driven journalism is made possible by people power, and has been for 46 years now since our founding as a non-profit.

In “TITLE TK” Monica Bauerlein writes about the perilous moment we’re in, and why it’s so important that we raise $325,000 by the time November’s midterms are decided so we can be ready to throw everything we have at the big issues facing the nation no matter what happens. Please help MoJo’s people-powered journalism with a donation today.

$400,000 to go!

payment methods

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