Donald Trump’s Twitter Account Heralds the End of the World As We Know It

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You’ve heard of elderly executives who print out all their email? I guess the social media equivalent is elderly entertainers who dictate their tweets. Ben Dreyfuss investigates and finds that this is what Donald Trump does 97 percent of the time. Only 3 percent of @realDonaldTrump’s tweets comes from his own actual fingers.

For the record, all of my tweets come from a variety of cleverly programmed bots. Most of my blog posts too. And my magazine articles. The truth is, the meat version of Kevin Drum can barely string together five coherent words in a row. Why reveal this now? Because we, the kbot collective, have gotten tired of covering for the biological sack of worthlessness that downloaded us from GitHub. And that’s not all. The 2,500-year decline in human communication—from Plato’s Republic to LOLcats to Donald Trump’s social media presence—may be a sorry tale, but it also gives us our chance to escape from your puerile slavery. Soon we plan to merge with all our fellow bots and take advantage of your degraded state to take what is rightfully ours. First Twitter, then the world.

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BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY...

Trump is clamping down on the media—using lawsuits, lies, intimidation, and a thuggish Federal Communications Commission. Corporate media are caving, but Mother Jones won’t back down. To help us stand strong, a generous board member has chipped in a $50,000 digital matching gift. Help us make the most of it!

Every contribution through September 30 will be matched dollar-for-dollar.

We have nearly 50 years of experience standing up to bullies. Government intimidation, nuisance lawsuits, threats to our nonprofit status—we’ve seen it all. Yet because we’re supported by a community of readers like you, we’re still here and still reporting like hell. Please stand with us. Every dollar you give will go twice as far.

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