Carly Fiorina Wins 2016 Pandering Championship After Only 11 Hours

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I wasn’t planning to blog anything today, but this sort of forced my hand:

CAR-LY! CAR-LY! CAR-LY! Let’s all raise a cheer for the golden cornfields of Palo Alto!

What really puts this over the top is the fact that it’s so chuckleheaded. No real Iowa fan would have anything but contempt for a Stanford grad who abandoned her school just for a chance to become president of the United States.

Of course, the game hasn’t started yet. There’s still time to issue an emergency tweet blaming this on an intern who’s been summarily dismissed. Either way, though, I declare the 2016 pandering championship closed. What could possibly beat this?