Commander-in-Chief Promises “Nice New” Missiles for Syria

Melanie Bell/ZUMA

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OK then:

So we’re going to fire some missiles at Syria after days and days of thinking it over? That’ll terrify them. Especially since there will be more missiles than last time. Putin and Assad must be quivering in their boots. However, I’ll consider the whole thing a success if the pundits of the nation can refrain from saying how presidential it makes Trump look.

In other news, Paul Ryan is retiring. I guess he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of becoming a backbencher again. But what will he do in retirement? Will he become a Fox News talking head or a K Street lobbyist? The suspense is killing you, isn’t it?

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BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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