John Oliver Proposes an Idea to Save “Racist Voodoo Doll” Donald Trump from Further Humiliation

There’s a third option the GOP nominee should seriously consider.


If there’s one thing Donald Trump can’t stomach, it’s admitting defeat. After all, the self-declared billionaire loves to claim he’s been “winning” all his life. But as the Republican nominee’s poll numbers continue to tank, it seems like a disastrous loss against Hillary Clinton is nearly inevitable at this point.

Amid the implosion, John Oliver has proposed a unique option Trump may want to consider, one that could potentially save both the real estate magnate’s ego and the American people from having to endure another three months of his hateful rhetoric: Drop out and tell the world it was all fantastic stunt.

“Just think about how triumphant it would feel to say on national television, ‘I openly ran on a platform of impossible ignorant proposals, steeped in racial bigotry, and nobody stopped me,'” Oliver said on Last Week Tonight. “‘In fact you embraced me for it. What the fuck was that about?!'”

“You would not be a loser—you would be a legend.”

Watch Oliver make the convincing case above.

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

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