A Review of the New iPhones Before the New iPhones Come Out

Facts matter: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter. Support our nonprofit reporting. Subscribe to our print magazine.

I wrote this before the new iPhone was released (obvs).

The new iPhone was just released. 

There are a few different models. One of them is an upgrade over the iPhone 7. It costs the same as the iPhone 7 did. One is an upgrade over the iPhone 7 Plus. It costs as much as the iPhone 7 Plus did. There is also a new one! A 10th anniversary phone. It costs more than any other iPhone has ever cost. 

This is the phone you probably want most, and since these phones are often paid for with payment plans it will probably be a price difference you’re willing to swallow. Not that you should of course. You almost certainly do not need what new functions this phone has. But maybe you want them. That’s ok! Do not spend money that would otherwise go to necessities of life on this phone is what I’m saying, but if it’s money you’re going to spend on things you don’t need either way, then you do you. 

All three iPhones are rectangle and have visual elements. They connect to the internet. They also still have a little used “voice call ” function. You can send texts on them and also go on Tindr with them.

The camera on the new iPhones are big improvements over the cameras on the old iPhones. The camera on the anniversary phone is especially good. 

No one will sleep with you because you have one of these phones, but some might not sleep with you because you don’t. 

Pre-orders will start later this week.

Update: They have actually shown it now. It’s called the iPhone X (pronounced iPhone Ten). Here’s a photo. The only thing I was really wrong about is that the iPhone X doesn’t go on pre-sale until October 27. Ships November 3.

https://twitter.com/bendreyfuss/status/907669880270475264

THE END...

of our fiscal year is Thursday, June 30, and we have a much larger fundraising gap than we can easily manage with only days left to go.

Right now is no time to come up short: If you value the hard-hitting, democracy-protecting, justice-advancing journalism you get from Mother Jones, please help us keep charging as hard as we possibly can with a much-needed and much-appreciated donation today.

payment methods

THE END...

of our fiscal year is Thursday, June 30, and we have a much larger fundraising gap than we can easily manage with only days left to go.

Right now is no time to come up short: If you value the hard-hitting, democracy-protecting, justice-advancing journalism you get from Mother Jones, please help us keep charging as hard as we possibly can with a much-needed and much-appreciated donation today.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate