Stephen Colbert Is Horrified Over Trump’s Forbes Magazine Spanking

“He got spanked, but I feel like I’m being punished.”

Stephen Colbert would rather do anything else than imagine President Donald Trump having sex, but new details published in Mother Jones on Thursday, revealing adult film star Stormy Daniels once claimed she spanked Trump with a copy of Forbes magazine, appear to be forcing the issue.

“Wow, he got spanked, but I feel like I’m being punished,” Colbert said while addressing the report.

Colbert’s horror only grew with the additional revelation that the Forbes magazine Daniels used for their spanking activities featured Trump on the cover. Mother Jones reported that a cover in 2006, when the alleged sexual encounters between Daniels and Trump occurred, does feature Trump and his two children—a visual Colbert acknowledged would “haunt” his audience members’ nightmares.

“I think I speak for Dr. Freud when I say we owe Oedipus an apology.”

You can read more on Trump’s Forbes magazine spanking here.

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IT'S NOT THAT WE'RE SCREWED WITHOUT TRUMP:

"It's that we're screwed with or without him if we can't show the public that what we do matters for the long term," writes Mother Jones CEO Monika Bauerlein as she kicks off our drive to raise $350,000 in donations from readers by July 17.

This is a big one for us. So, as we ask you to consider supporting our team's journalism, we thought we'd slow down and check in about where Mother Jones is and where we're going after the chaotic last several years. This comparatively slow moment is also an urgent one for Mother Jones: You can read more in "Slow News Is Good News," and if you're able to, please support our team's hard-hitting journalism and help us reach our big $350,000 goal with a donation today.

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