All the Angles We Tried for Our James Webb Space Telescope Article Before We Decided that Space Itself Is Cool Enough

Thank you, NASA.

Star birth in the Carina NebulaNASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI

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NASA has released the first photos from the James Webb Space Telescope, and they’re really fucking cool.

I, personally, will take any excuse to divert my attention away from the shitstorm we’ve created for ourselves here on Earth. But my coworkers and I spent a while trying to figure out how best to sell the photos to our readers. Here’s a sampling:

“We Finally Have the New Webb Photos of Space. They’re Kinda Disappointing.”
Meh.
—Jeremy Schulman

“Finally, A Reason to Go On Living.”
I want to meet the aliens.
Abigail Weinberg

“I Hate This World. Eject Me to Space.”
—Inae Oh

“It’s Just Pictures of Colored Dots. I’ll Pass.”
— Jacob Rosenberg

“These Photos Provide a Majestic Backdrop to Listen to Jamie Raskin Read the Federalist Papers”
—Jeremy Schulman

“Oh, Fuck, That’s Cylon Raider”
All this has happened before…
—Jeremy Schulman

“You Think Biden’s Old. This Is the Earliest Recorded Light.”
—Anonymous Contributor

All right. Here are the photos. (To hear about these images from people who actually know what they’re talking about, visit NASA.)

The deepest infrared image of the universe yet. These stars are older than each member of our gerontocracy combined.

NASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI

A dying star. Would that we’d all go out in such a blaze of glory.

NASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI

Star birth in the Carina Nebula

NASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI

Stephan’s Quintet, a collection of galaxies. Is there anybody in there?

ASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI

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