January/February 1995 Issue

Sex Talk

The interviews on these pages are the result of an award-winning, multiyear project on teen sexuality begun in Habib’s hometown of Concord, N.H.

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“I think that’s pretty crazy to ask teenagers to be abstinent. Because most teenagers, with all they hear in music, TV, and movies, they’re not gonna wait to have sex until they’re married. And with all the peer pressure to have sex, if you make it until you’re married to have sex, then that’s some great feat, ’cause you’ve put up with a lot of crap.”

GABE, 15

“Sex is the ultimate physical expression. It’s also the ultimate emotional expression, if there is love that goes along with it. If you never give that to anyone else, except for the person you marry, on your wedding night, then that is the ultimate act of love.”

MICHAEL, with TINA on their wedding night

“I didn’t feel any pressure to have sex. I always said to myself that when I was ready, I’d have sex. I didn’t set an age on it. It just so happened that when I was 16, I felt ready. It could’ve been when I was 27.”

MICHELLE, 18

“I don’t trust anybody. No one. I was just a carefree kind of guy who loved everybody, but in high school that doesn’t go. I found that there’s a lot more bigotry against gays among blacks. And it angers me, because black people, of all people, should know what it feels like to be oppressed. I don’t see any hope for society. The most important things, like accepting ourselves as individuals, and not judging or being judged, I don’t see.”

RAPHAEL, 19

“Most of the guys I know put up a front to get girls. They try to make their voices sound deeper on the phone. Being tough–that’s what’s in. If you get girls, you got ‘game.’ Game is just what helps you get a girl. Whatever works for you, works for you. I got my game. I don’t lie with a girl. I’ll tell her straight up about myself. The truth is I’m just myself, I’m the funny man. That’s my way, and it’s worked for me so far. That seems to attract the right girls for me, so I’m gonna stick with it.”

GERMAINE, 16

“When you’re younger, you’re told by your friends that guys are assholes, they’re pigs, they’re basically just trying to get in someone’s pants. And the girls are like, ‘I think I’m gonna let him. I’m gonna let him sleep with me.’ It’s not, ‘I’m gonna make love to him.’ It’s, ‘I’m going to let him do this to me,’ like a reward or something. If you didn’t, you were a tease. And if you did, you were a slut. A lot of adults still think that way.”

LINDSAY, 18

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We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

Because the bottom line: Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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