Attention Kitsch-Mart Shoppers

Enterprising Americans take advantage of the Web and the Lewinsky scandal to try and make a buck.

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President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky are officially an item. A shopping item that is. Entrepreneurs across America are using the Internet to sell sex-scandal souvenirs, from “ForniGate ’98” T-shirts to denim baseball hats embroidered with “A Right Wing Conspiracy.”

But, the most original offering has to be Presidential KneepadsTM. For just $6.95, you can be the proud owner of this unlikely pair, hand-painted with Old Glory stars and stripes. “I’m doing it [the business] out of my bedroom,” says Gary Noar, co-president of Presidential Kneepads. Noar, a computer information systems major at California’s Humboldt State University, thinks the venture is a good way to test a Web-based business.

Sales haven’t quite gotten off the ground—Noar reports “only a few” sales so far. But he’s hoping some media attention (including, presumably, ours) will help move the kneepads. “We’ve sent them out to Leno and Letterman,” he says. No, no response yet.

While the Franklin Mint has yet to offer any limited-edition china to commemorate the alleged affair, there are plenty of keepsakes to choose from:

Item #1: Presidential KneepadsTM
Description: Kneepads decorated with stars and stripes.
Sales pitch: “Good for any task requiring long-term kneeling.”
Price: $6.95 a pair.
Available at: http://www.prezpad.com
Item #2: “ForniGate ’98” T-shirt
Description: “Clinton/Lewinsky ’98” printed on the left breast and “Fornigate ’98” on the back.
Selling pitch: “Lets everyone know what Bill is doing in the White House!”
Price: $12.95
Available at: http://www.balamara.com/fornigate/index.html
Item #3: ZipperGate ’98* T-shirts and sweatshirts
Description: One has picture of Clinton giving the thumbs-up as Monica stands naked behind him. Caption: “But, did she inhale?” Another has a simple bust of Clinton. Caption: “It’s not immoral if it’s only oral.”
Sales Pitch: All shirts have “our now famous ZipperGate ’98 graphics.”
Price: $10.95-12.95 for T-shirt, $16.95 for sweatshirt
Available at: http://www.petgone.com/zipper/
* Copyright applied for
Item #4: A Right Wing ConspiracyTM polo shirt and and denim hat
Description: “A Right Wing Conspiracy” embroidered on left breast of white polo shirt and front of denim baseball cap. Classy, conservative.
Sales pitch: “Please don’t take this site too seriously.”
Price: $18.50 for shirt, $13.00 for hat
Available at: http://www.arightwingconspiracy.com/
Item #5: “Got Milk?” T-shirt
Description: Low-budget artwork of the dynamic duo. But where’s the milk mustache?
Sales Pitch: “A picture is worth a thousand words and our T-shirts tell it all.”
Price: $12.99
Available at: http://www.monicaandbill.com

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Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

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“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

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And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

payment methods

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