Attention Kitsch-Mart Shoppers

Enterprising Americans take advantage of the Web and the Lewinsky scandal to try and make a buck.

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President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky are officially an item. A shopping item that is. Entrepreneurs across America are using the Internet to sell sex-scandal souvenirs, from “ForniGate ’98” T-shirts to denim baseball hats embroidered with “A Right Wing Conspiracy.”

But, the most original offering has to be Presidential KneepadsTM. For just $6.95, you can be the proud owner of this unlikely pair, hand-painted with Old Glory stars and stripes. “I’m doing it [the business] out of my bedroom,” says Gary Noar, co-president of Presidential Kneepads. Noar, a computer information systems major at California’s Humboldt State University, thinks the venture is a good way to test a Web-based business.

Sales haven’t quite gotten off the ground—Noar reports “only a few” sales so far. But he’s hoping some media attention (including, presumably, ours) will help move the kneepads. “We’ve sent them out to Leno and Letterman,” he says. No, no response yet.

While the Franklin Mint has yet to offer any limited-edition china to commemorate the alleged affair, there are plenty of keepsakes to choose from:

Item #1: Presidential KneepadsTM
Description: Kneepads decorated with stars and stripes.
Sales pitch: “Good for any task requiring long-term kneeling.”
Price: $6.95 a pair.
Available at: http://www.prezpad.com
Item #2: “ForniGate ’98” T-shirt
Description: “Clinton/Lewinsky ’98” printed on the left breast and “Fornigate ’98” on the back.
Selling pitch: “Lets everyone know what Bill is doing in the White House!”
Price: $12.95
Available at: http://www.balamara.com/fornigate/index.html
Item #3: ZipperGate ’98* T-shirts and sweatshirts
Description: One has picture of Clinton giving the thumbs-up as Monica stands naked behind him. Caption: “But, did she inhale?” Another has a simple bust of Clinton. Caption: “It’s not immoral if it’s only oral.”
Sales Pitch: All shirts have “our now famous ZipperGate ’98 graphics.”
Price: $10.95-12.95 for T-shirt, $16.95 for sweatshirt
Available at: http://www.petgone.com/zipper/
* Copyright applied for
Item #4: A Right Wing ConspiracyTM polo shirt and and denim hat
Description: “A Right Wing Conspiracy” embroidered on left breast of white polo shirt and front of denim baseball cap. Classy, conservative.
Sales pitch: “Please don’t take this site too seriously.”
Price: $18.50 for shirt, $13.00 for hat
Available at: http://www.arightwingconspiracy.com/
Item #5: “Got Milk?” T-shirt
Description: Low-budget artwork of the dynamic duo. But where’s the milk mustache?
Sales Pitch: “A picture is worth a thousand words and our T-shirts tell it all.”
Price: $12.99
Available at: http://www.monicaandbill.com

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IT'S NOT THAT WE'RE SCREWED WITHOUT TRUMP:

"It's that we're screwed with or without him if we can't show the public that what we do matters for the long term," writes Mother Jones CEO Monika Bauerlein as she kicks off our drive to raise $350,000 in donations from readers by July 17.

This is a big one for us. So, as we ask you to consider supporting our team's journalism, we thought we'd slow down and check in about where Mother Jones is and where we're going after the chaotic last several years. This comparatively slow moment is also an urgent one for Mother Jones: You can read more in "Slow News Is Good News," and if you're able to, please support our team's hard-hitting journalism and help us reach our big $350,000 goal with a donation today.

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