Monkey see, monkey chug

Get your news from a source that’s not owned and controlled by oligarchs. Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily.


It may seem just conventional wisdom that a hard-knock life can drive you to drinking. But could you prove it scientifically? That’s what researchers at the US National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism set out to do in a bizarre study involving 97 rhesus macaque monkeys, reports the NEW SCIENTIST.

First, the scientists separated 40 of the monkeys from their mothers at birth to simulate a “difficult childhood.” Sure enough, when the researchers offered the motherless macaques a sweetened alcohol solution 3-5 years later, they lapped up the sauce more heavily than their family-values-raised counterparts. The results are straightforward — unlike, the MoJo Wire presumes, the problem of what to do with 40 emotionally-scarred, boozed-out primates.

Will the study prove useful? “We believe these results generalise to humans,” says one researcher, suggesting that stress-prone children could be identified and taught to cope from an early age to prevent future Alcoholics Anonymous candidacies. The monkeys, sprawled under the bar stools and slurring the lyrics to “Danny Boy,” could not be reached for comment.

BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

payment methods

BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate