The Diddly Awards

THE GEORGE ALLEN (SR.) AWARD FOR THE MIDTERM ELECTION’S MOST DESPERATE HAIL-MARY PASS

Illustration by: Peter Hoey

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NOMINEE 1
Raj Peter Bhakta (gop House candidate-Pa.) won D-list fame as a contestant
on The Apprentice. But even The Donald never showed the chutzpah Bhakta displayed
when, to demonstrate how easy it is for immigrants to cross the border, he attempted
to ride an elephant—followed by two other elephants and a six-piece mariachi
band—across the Rio Grande in Texas. (Bhakta lost.)

NOMINEE 2
Michael Steele (gop Senate candidate-Md.) ran an ad of himself hugging
a Boston terrier and warning that his opponent would claim, “Steele hates puppies—and
worse.” The response ad came quickly: “Michael Steele: He likes puppies, but
he loves George Bush.” Then, on Election Day, gop operatives paid six busloads
of destitute men to stand in front of voting stations in largely black precincts
and hand out flyers falsely claiming Steele was a Democrat. (Steele lost.)

NOMINEE 3
Claire McCaskill (Democratic Senate candidate-Mo.) bought 100 Rams tickets
when she learned that a St. Louis TV station would not broadcast the season
opener unless it sold out. She gave the football tickets to charity, and the
media unleashed story after story proclaiming her good will and brilliant campaign
instincts. (McCaskill won.)

NOMINEE 4
Senator Rick Santorum (R-Pa.) made a last-ditch appeal to those influential
voters, Lord of the Rings nerds. Santorum explained to a local editorial board:
“As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere
else. It’s being drawn to Iraq.” We have no idea what it means either, but we
suspect it has something to do with man-on-dog sex. (Farewell Santorum. Diddly
will be lost without you.)

WINNER!
Raj Peter Bhakta
, whose Hannibal stunt failed to make the splash he was
hoping for. “The elephant never made landfall into Mexico,” Bhakta explained.
“He could have made 15 laps back and forth, but no one showed up.” Except for
agents from the USDA, who detained the elephants and sprayed them for ticks.

SIX TRUTHS

Reclaiming power from those who abuse it often starts with telling the truth. And in "This Is How Authoritarians Get Defeated," MoJo's Monika Bauerlein unpacks six truths to remember during the homestretch of an election where democracy, truth, and decency are on the line.

Truth #1: The chaos is the point.

Truth #2: Team Reality is bigger than it seems.

Truth #3: Facebook owns this.

Truth #4: When we go to work, we're in the fight.

Truth #5: It's about minority rule.

Truth #6: The only thing that can save us is…us.

Please take a moment to see how all these truths add up, because what happens in the weeks and months ahead will reverberate for at least a generation and we better be prepared.

And if you think journalism like Mother Jones'—that calls it like it is, that will never acquiesce to power, that looks where others don't—can help guide us through this historic, high-stakes moment, and you're able to right now, please help us reach our $350,000 goal by October 31 with a donation today. It's all hands on deck for democracy.

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SIX TRUTHS

Reclaiming power from those who abuse it often starts with telling the truth. And in "This Is How Authoritarians Get Defeated," MoJo's Monika Bauerlein unpacks six truths to remember during the homestretch of an election where democracy, truth, and decency are on the line.

Truth #1: The chaos is the point.

Truth #2: Team Reality is bigger than it seems.

Truth #3: Facebook owns this.

Truth #4: When we go to work, we're in the fight.

Truth #5: It's about minority rule.

Truth #6: The only thing that can save us is…us.

Please take a moment to see how all these truths add up, because what happens in the weeks and months ahead will reverberate for at least a generation and we better be prepared.

And if you think journalism like Mother Jones'—that calls it like it is, that will never acquiesce to power, that looks where others don't—can help guide us through this historic, high-stakes moment, and you're able to right now, please help us reach our $350,000 goal by October 31 with a donation today. It's all hands on deck for democracy.

payment methods

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