Polish Kid: “My Half-Year of Hell With Christian Fundamentalists”

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There are a million things that are funny about this. It’s almost like someone made it up; if they did, we’re playing the willing suckers here at Mother Jones.

The facts are simple. (1) A Polish student named Michael came to America for a study abroad term. (2) He was placed with an evangelical family in North Carolina. (3) Hilarity ensued.

Here are the highlights:

– The first thing the family told Michael when he landed at the airport was “Child, our Lord sent you half-way around the world to bring you to us.” Michael immediately wanted to get back on the plane to Poland.

– Every Monday, the family gathered around the kitchen table to talk about sex. The parents had not had sex in 17 years.

– The family told Michael that he had the devil in his heart. The family told Michael that his mother had the devil in her heart.

– Michael realized part of the way through his stay that the family had only agreed to house him because he could help them set up an evangelical church in Poland. A bit opportunistic, no?

How is this not a sitcom already? To Mike, we’re not all like that, we promise. Perhaps you should swing by the Bay Area next time and sample some of our “San Francisco Values.” And to Wonkette, who found this on Der Spiegel, keep fighting the good fight, folks.

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If you value the reporting you get from Mother Jones and you can right now, please join your fellow readers who pitch in from time to time to keep our democracy-advancing, justice-seeking journalism charging hard (and to help us avoid a real budget crunch as June 30 approaches and our fiscal year ends).

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