Breaking News: Britney Shaves Head, Gets Tattoo

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Was she just drunk, or, after dispatching Fed-Ex, has she decided to bat for the other team?

More likely the former than the latter, but no one knows for sure. Britney is reported to have grabbed the clippers from the aghast stylist’s hands and chopped off her girly locks herself. And a series of sketchy reports places Brit in and out of rehab.

Maybe she’s making a statement about how little she has to do to be mobbed by the press. Or how absurd conventional notions of beauty are? (One fan who stood outside the tattoo parlor while Britney got inked told the camera crews also on the spot, “Her head is completely shaved. It looks terrible.”) Or maybe Brit’s just gone from imitating Madonna to imitating Sinéad O’Connor. Congress, watch out!

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This is no time to come up short. It's time to fight like hell, as our namesake would tell us to do, for a democracy where minority rule cannot impose an extreme agenda, where facts matter, and where accountability has a chance at the polls and in the press. If you value our reporting and you can right now, please help us dig out of the $100,000 hole we're starting our new budgeting cycle in with an always-needed and always-appreciated donation today.

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