Yesterday came the news that Russia has annexed the North Pole! It seems that global warming is quickly making arctic drilling much more viable. And there’s tons of oil up there.
Clearly this will not stand. The next National Intelligence Estimate will point to a certain Saddam Claus, a brutal Pole-ite dictator, who’s posing a grave national threat, harboring weaponized coal lumps fitted to a reindeer-based delivery system. While bombers engage the enemy, Special Ops fire surface-to-sled missiles. Obama rushes to the scene. The State Department grows impatient with surviving penguins as they miss benchmarks in forming a government.