CNN Idiocy Watch, Day 1757: Rubber Duckies of DEATH

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And I quote: “Still ahead here in the Situation Room: a chemical in lots of household products that could harm all of us. It could harm your reproductive system as well. One state is so worried it’s issuing a sweeping new ban… Stay with us, you’re in the Situation Room.”

They played the story a full 28 minutes later.

A little more info from CNN’s correspondent on the “deadly chemical”:

“THE AGENTS ARE CALLED ‘PHTHALATES,’ WOLF… SOUNDS OBSCURE… BUT IT’S VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH THEM SOMETIME IN YOUR LIFE.”

“THE QUESTION IS: ARE THEY AS DANGEROUS AS SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE?”

Apparently it’s in rubber duckies. Unfortunately, by the time they played this Very Important Story (28 minutes after the teaser), thousands of Americans had died from a chemical in nail polish and rubber duckies. Tragic. Damn You, Wolf Blitzer! BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS.

Breaking News: Next on CNN—Could a major cable news company be responsible for the deaths of thousands of rubber-ducky-loving-toddlers? Find out right after these messages from our pharmaceutical-company sponsors! But don’t go away—You could die!

This issue’s “Practical Values” column has more on Phthalates.

There’s also this:

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BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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