Winter Holidays = God Awful Pop Music

Facts matter: Sign up for the free Mother Jones Daily newsletter. Support our nonprofit reporting. Subscribe to our print magazine.


monster-ballads160.gif

Regrettably, I spent my morning listening to songs on the Monster Ballads Xmas CD and the LeeVees’ How Do You Spell Channukkahh EP. Any holiday spirit I had when I woke up this morning has now been completely ripped out of my system.

I’m not sure why holiday rock almost always = terrible rock, but the monster ballad CD and the silly Jewish rock EP are living proof that rock songs about Santa and pop songs about potato latkes are not, and will never be, cool, funny, interesting, or enjoyable in any way. I want to personally thank them for giving me a full-fledged holiday headache.

Did Lita Ford really think that recording “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” with Twisted Sister was a good use of her time? And when Tom Keifer of Cinderella sings “Blue Christmas,” all I can think is, who the hell is Tom Keifer? As difficult as it is for me to admit that I actually bought a Winger tape (yes, a cassette tape) once, their version of “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” is four minutes and six seconds of sheer torture. As for the LeeVees, to me they sound like They Might Be Giants performing at a Bar Mitzvah.

Twisted Sister guitarist Jay Jay French, a co-executive producer of the rock CD, had this to say about the compilation:”‘The ‘Monster Ballads Xmas’ CD will bring the party vibe into the holiday season with enough hairspray to further enlarge the hole in the ozone layer above the North Pole.” Wow.

THE TRUTH...

is the first thing despots go after. An unwavering commitment to it is probably what draws you to Mother Jones' journalism. And as we're seeing in the US and the world around, authoritarians seek to poison the discourse and the way we relate to each other because they can't stand people coming together around a shared sense of the truth—it's a huge threat to them.

Which is also a pretty great way to describe Mother Jones' mission: People coming together around the truth to hold power accountable.

And right now, we need to raise about $400,000 from our online readers over the next two months to hit our annual goal and make good on that mission. Read more about the information war we find ourselves in and how people-powered, independent reporting can and must rise to the challenge—and please support our team's truth-telling journalism with a donation if you can right now.

payment methods

THE TRUTH...

is the first thing despots go after. An unwavering commitment to it is probably what draws you to Mother Jones' journalism. And as we're seeing in the US and the world around, authoritarians seek to poison the discourse and the way we relate to each other because they can't stand people coming together around a shared sense of the truth—it's a huge threat to them.

Which is also a pretty great way to describe Mother Jones' mission: People coming together around the truth to hold power accountable.

And right now, we need to raise about $400,000 from our online readers over the next two months to hit our annual goal and make good on that mission. Read more about the information war we find ourselves in and how people-powered, independent reporting can and must rise to the challenge—and please support our team's truth-telling journalism with a donation if you can right now.

payment methods

We Recommend

Latest

Sign up for our free newsletter

Subscribe to the Mother Jones Daily to have our top stories delivered directly to your inbox.

Get our award-winning magazine

Save big on a full year of investigations, ideas, and insights.

Subscribe

Support our journalism

Help Mother Jones' reporters dig deep with a tax-deductible donation.

Donate