Maybe It’s Maybelline (Then Again, Maybe It’s Placenta)

Beauty secrets of the rich and unsqueamish

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Miracle Ingredient: Cow Colostrum
Eva Beauty Epicuren Colostrum Cream; $88/2 oz.
Claim: Bovine postnatal secretion “acts as a super night repair and cell regenerator.”
Don’t hate it because… If you’re skeeved by this one, stop reading now.

Miracle Ingredient: Gold
Chantecaille Nano Gold Energizing Cream; $420/1.7 oz.
Claim: “Consistently replenishes skin’s energy using nanotechnology to safely deliver the power of pure gold.”
Don’t hate it because… A 2006 study found that gold nanoparticles damage skin cells.

Miracle Ingredient: Foreskin
SkinMedica tns Recovery Complex; $145/less than an ounce
Claim: Reverses sun damage, as seen on Oprah
Don’t hate it because… Anti-circumcision activists are way ahead of you.

Miracle Ingredient: Placenta
Plazan Placenta Collagen Mask; $94 each
Claim: Placentas harvested in maternity wards provide “intensive skin rejuvenation.”
Don’t hate it because… Placentas contain estrogen, which has been linked to premature puberty in girls.

Miracle Ingredient: Fetal Cells
Neocutis Bio-Restorative Skin Cream; $130/1.8 oz.
Claim: Cultured skin cells from an aborted fetus “heal wounds without scarring.”
Don’t hate it because… It offends even the most committed pro-choicers.

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BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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