Kmart’s Abstinence Pants Maker Says: Yes You Can!

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Yes, I said “abstinence pants.” Kmart in-house designer Piper & Blue has jazzed up this year’s summer collection with a pair of sweatpants for teen girls that say “True Love Waits” in your choice of colored bubble letters. No, there is no corresponding set for boys.

But there is an official Piper & Blue designers’ blog that lets you know how you should be thinking about your summer couture. And maybe it’s just me, but some of the suggestions seem a little risque for the True Love Waits crowd. “Top garments like coats and jackets are what an onlooker sees first,” warns the blog. What do they see next? Well, if you wear their “football jersey,” that would be “a casual outfit that’s super stylish and easily accessible!” Easily accessible? Uh oh. “These days, you don’t need a bank account like Britney’s to get Lindsay’s look.” You, too, can model your style on two of our culture’s pillars of Christian morality. That particular post is entitled, “Hollywood Glam? Yes You Can!”

Though brimming with advice, the blog is sadly silent on the topic of the abstinence pants. It does, however, justify its similar, albeit less-political sweatpants: “By pairing a cute tee with embellished sweats, you’ll look ready for action, not bed.” I’ll leave interpreting that to you all, in the comments.

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BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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