Future President Paris Hilton Responds to McCain Ad

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Paris Hilton, never one to pass up an opportunity to display money or pander for attention, has produced a video response to Sen. McCain’s attack ad comparing Sen. Obama with Hilton.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

The helpful wonks over at The New Republic actually fact-checked Hilton’s energy spiel (slow news week, guys?), so check that out if you want. Ok, so maybe she won’t be our next Secretary of Energy—and she’s not that funny, either.

But, unlike the two senators actually running for the most important job in the free world, she demonstrates a working knowledge of satire and the ability to make a simple joke without offending the entire English-speaking world. With both candidates gaffing their way through the summer, Republicans protesting in dark, empty rooms, and Democrats plotting secret back-room strategies that get immediately leaked, Paris Hilton may actually be the political MVP of these first few days of August.

And that is the state of American politics today. How long until Rasmussen starts tracking her in the polls?

—Max Fisher

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WHO DOESN’T LOVE A POSITIVE STORY—OR TWO?

“Great journalism really does make a difference in this world: it can even save kids.”

That’s what a civil rights lawyer wrote to Julia Lurie, the day after her major investigation into a psychiatric hospital chain that uses foster children as “cash cows” published, letting her know he was using her findings that same day in a hearing to keep a child out of one of the facilities we investigated.

That’s awesome. As is the fact that Julia, who spent a full year reporting this challenging story, promptly heard from a Senate committee that will use her work in their own investigation of Universal Health Services. There’s no doubt her revelations will continue to have a big impact in the months and years to come.

Like another story about Mother Jones’ real-world impact.

This one, a multiyear investigation, published in 2021, exposed conditions in sugar work camps in the Dominican Republic owned by Central Romana—the conglomerate behind brands like C&H and Domino, whose product ends up in our Hershey bars and other sweets. A year ago, the Biden administration banned sugar imports from Central Romana. And just recently, we learned of a previously undisclosed investigation from the Department of Homeland Security, looking into working conditions at Central Romana. How big of a deal is this?

“This could be the first time a corporation would be held criminally liable for forced labor in their own supply chains,” according to a retired special agent we talked to.

Wow.

And it is only because Mother Jones is funded primarily by donations from readers that we can mount ambitious, yearlong—or more—investigations like these two stories that are making waves.

About that: It’s unfathomably hard in the news business right now, and we came up about $28,000 short during our recent fall fundraising campaign. We simply have to make that up soon to avoid falling further behind than can be made up for, or needing to somehow trim $1 million from our budget, like happened last year.

If you can, please support the reporting you get from Mother Jones—that exists to make a difference, not a profit—with a donation of any amount today. We need more donations than normal to come in from this specific blurb to help close our funding gap before it gets any bigger.

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