These Men Are From Hell, not Mars

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Man, I’m glad I’m divorced and definitely not looking.

Check out Love in the Time of Darwinism. That is, if you’re a man—a “real” man—who wants to be reminded of why he behaves in the manly way that he does. Or if you’re a “real” woman without a man and need reminding of why that is so.

Here’s a quick, accurate summary of the article: “I’m a big, useless baby who knows he isn’t shit and needs someone else to blame my endless failures, not least in the bedroom, on so I don’t have to listen to my Mom yelling at me to get a frickin’ job.”

Here’s another: “Duh, since I can’t beat up women anymore, or get higher pay for the same job, stupid-ass that I am, or be deemed a “catch” simply by virture of owning a penis, I HATE, er, FEAR, women. Therefore, I must destroy them. I must blame my utter inadequacy on them, since every weekend they reject my jobless, drunk-ass stupid, uselessness, thereby turning that well-deserved inadequacy into a virtue. Duh.” No man who is successful with women, whether thru guile or on his merits, contributed to this dreck.

It’s a wonder the species hasn’t died out by now.

Does explain all the losers on Cops, though. My fave is always the men complaining that all women are golddiggers—when they’re living in their mama’s basements but still managing to get laid. I guess their poverty serves the larger purpose of denying us ‘golddiggers’ any gold to dig. Otherwise, they’d make something of themselves. Showed us, ha!

But remember this, losers (i.e. men who think this article brilliant): Even the most useless woman has one arrow in her quiver, as opposed to you. She can bring forth life. All you can do is have orgasms. And we all know how difficult that is.

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This is a big one for us. So, as we ask you to consider supporting our team's journalism, we thought we'd slow down and check in about where Mother Jones is and where we're going after the chaotic last several years. This comparatively slow moment is also an urgent one for Mother Jones: You can read more in "Slow News Is Good News," and if you're able to, please support our team's hard-hitting journalism and help us reach our big $350,000 goal with a donation today.

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