Alberto Gonzales Is Going to Write an Awfully Short Tell-All

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AlbertoGonzalesClap.jpg Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, head clown for some of the Bush Administration’s wackiest episodes, will write a tell-all book about his experiences at the Department of Justice. I find this curious. After all, Gonzales is the guy who went before the Senate Judiciary Committee to answer questions about the U.S. Attorneys scandal and managed to utter the words “I don’t recall” 64 times in five hours. (Relevant Daily Show clip here.) Considering his all-encompassing amnesia about his work, what’s he going to put in the memoir?

My guess? The book will be three pages.

Page one: Table of Contents.
Page two: “Everything was awesome. I did nothing wrong, certainly nothing I should go to jail for, haha!”
Page three: About the Author.

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BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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