Alberto Gonzales Is Going to Write an Awfully Short Tell-All

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AlbertoGonzalesClap.jpg Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, head clown for some of the Bush Administration’s wackiest episodes, will write a tell-all book about his experiences at the Department of Justice. I find this curious. After all, Gonzales is the guy who went before the Senate Judiciary Committee to answer questions about the U.S. Attorneys scandal and managed to utter the words “I don’t recall” 64 times in five hours. (Relevant Daily Show clip here.) Considering his all-encompassing amnesia about his work, what’s he going to put in the memoir?

My guess? The book will be three pages.

Page one: Table of Contents.
Page two: “Everything was awesome. I did nothing wrong, certainly nothing I should go to jail for, haha!”
Page three: About the Author.

HERE ARE THE FACTS:

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ONE MORE QUICK THING:

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As we wrote over the summer, traffic has been down at Mother Jones and a lot of sites with many people thinking news is less important now that Donald Trump is no longer president. But if you're reading this, you're not one of those people, and we're hoping we can rally support from folks like you who really get why our reporting matters right now. And that's how it's always worked: For 45 years now, a relatively small group of readers (compared to everyone we reach) who pitch in from time to time has allowed Mother Jones to do the type of journalism the moment demands and keep it free for everyone else.

Please pitch in with a donation during our fall fundraising drive if you can. We can't afford to come up short, and there's still a long way to go by November 5.

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