Alberto Gonzales Is Going to Write an Awfully Short Tell-All

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Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, head clown for some of the Bush Administration’s wackiest episodes, will write a tell-all book about his experiences at the Department of Justice. I find this curious. After all, Gonzales is the guy who went before the Senate Judiciary Committee to answer questions about the U.S. Attorneys scandal and managed to utter the words “I don’t recall” 64 times in five hours. (Relevant Daily Show clip here.) Considering his all-encompassing amnesia about his work, what’s he going to put in the memoir?

My guess? The book will be three pages.

Page one: Table of Contents.
Page two: “Everything was awesome. I did nothing wrong, certainly nothing I should go to jail for, haha!”
Page three: About the Author.