The Palin Family Regrets to Inform You…

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The Governor of Alaska and Mr. Todd Mitchell Palin announce that
the engagement of their daughter, Miss
Bristol Palin, to Mr.
Levi Johnston,
has been ended by mutual consent.

In a shocking development, the
torrid betrothal of 19-year-old apprentice electrician Levi Johnston
and the daughter of the governor of Alaska—a year-long relationship that created two-month-old Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston and helped bolster the pro-life and working-class credentials of Sen. John McCain—has ended.

The liaison stood little chance of success, especially after the Republican Party transformed the two
high-school dropouts into symbols of social
conservatism. With that pressure, it’s no wonder the teens couldn’t withstand the normal trials of dating, never mind
the stress of playing it out before the entire country. And so, having performed his role with considerable aplomb, Johnston may now retreat to obscurity, free to snowboard, ride dirt bikes, go camping, film reality TV shows, and hang out with the boys to his heart’s content.

As for his son, Tripp Johnston, there’s no reason to worry. Many people conceived by unmarried couples have gone on to achieve illustrious feats in their own rights. 

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It’s risky, but also unavoidable: A full one-third of the dollars that we need to pay for the journalism you rely on has to get raised in December. A good December means our newsroom is fully staffed, well-resourced, and on the beat. A bad one portends budget trouble and hard choices.

The December 31 deadline is drawing nearer, and if we’re going to have any chance of making our goal, we need those of you who’ve never pitched in before to join the ranks of MoJo donors.

We simply can’t afford to come up short. There is no cushion in our razor-thin budget—no backup, no alternative sources of revenue to balance our books. Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the fierce journalism we do. That’s why we need you to show up for us right now.

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