The Uterus Monologues: Limericks From Our Readers

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A week ago, the Florida GOP scolded Rep. Scott Randolph (D-Orlando) when he used the word “uterus” on the statehouse floor. We at Mother Jones couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the word, and why it wasn’t deemed worthy for public. So Jen Phillips penned a limerick in response, calling on readers to post their own reactions to the Florida GOP’s buffoonery. Here are some of our favorites:

 

 

From Active Peacemaker:

A Florida Rep. shouted with rage,
“We can’t use those words near a page.
I’m convinced by my work
We were brought by the Stork!”
Now please put that Rep. back in his cage. 

 deanz:

There once was a party so grand
It thought it would give God a hand
By helping her tutor us
on words hardly new to us
but soon She’ll be having *them* banned

 To Womb it May Concern:

The word uterus is naughty, you see
Not for use in polite company
They’ve deprived half the nation
Of sex education
Now it burns whene’er they GO P.

While demagogues Stately and Clerical,
encourage their gals to get spherical
they won’t lessen its stature
with crass nomenclature
to use Uterus makes them hysterical.

Amy Sharp

So they think that uterus is offensive…
it is time to get down down off the fences
to hold hands and skip
to the beat of something hip
and get the country back to its sense

Valerie Hope Starr

I’d quiver to think what they’d to us
dare we mention that naughty word uterus
we can pillage, rape, maim but not mention that name
of the place whence we came fore you knew of us

Jim Bazen

Some words are a source of dissension.
They require a thorough preemption.
Now the Reps are all riled
’bout the fetus who filed
A uterine homestead exemption.

Brenda Cummings

The Republicans don’t like my uterus.
Revelations like these aren’t new to us.
They don’t care for humanity,
They’ve lost their sanity—
We ALL came from one—unum e pluribus?

Thepink Pantsuit

To reject a word such as uterus
I find nothing short of ludicrous
Does not the blessing of birth
Define a woman’s self-worth
What more can the GOP to do us?

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WE CAME UP SHORT.

We just wrapped up a shorter-than-normal, urgent-as-ever fundraising drive and we came up about $45,000 short of our $300,000 goal.

That means we're going to have upwards of $350,000, maybe more, to raise in online donations between now and June 30, when our fiscal year ends and we have to get to break-even. And even though there's zero cushion to miss the mark, we won't be all that in your face about our fundraising again until June.

So we urgently need this specific ask, what you're reading right now, to start bringing in more donations than it ever has. The reality, for these next few months and next few years, is that we have to start finding ways to grow our online supporter base in a big way—and we're optimistic we can keep making real headway by being real with you about this.

Because the bottom line: Corporations and powerful people with deep pockets will never sustain the type of journalism Mother Jones exists to do. The only investors who won’t let independent, investigative journalism down are the people who actually care about its future—you.

And we hope you might consider pitching in before moving on to whatever it is you're about to do next. We really need to see if we'll be able to raise more with this real estate on a daily basis than we have been, so we're hoping to see a promising start.

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