You Will Die Alone in a Ditch With a Headache—But at Least the Headache Won’t Have Been Your Fault

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-93662965/stock-photo-silhouette-of-an-alcoholic-in-despair.html?src=j6Z2Zt8OnBK_C1mbgzQSig-1-3">thaumatr0pe</a>/Shutterstock

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Alcohol is great. Maybe not health-wise, and maybe not for your uncle who has a bunch of DUIs, but, in general, society has long agreed that alcohol is great. The bad thing about alcohol is that sometimes drinking it makes your head hurt the next day. In the world, we call this a hangover. Some people get them worse than other people. The lucky ducks who seem spry and dandy no matter how much they put away the night before often offer unluckier ducks #smarttips for not getting hangovers. Drink water! Eat grease! Meditate! Pray! Have you tried barre classes? These tips probably never work for you—or at least never work consistently for you. (Everything works anecdotally once in a while.) But that’s probably your fault, right? I mean everything is your fault. That’s why you drink so much in the first place. Your parents got divorced because of you. Your spouse is unhappy because of you. The Dow Jones is down because of you. America is entangled in a never-ending mess in the Middle East because of you. Hollywood keeps rebooting Spider-Man because of you. These hangover tips aren’t working because of you, too, right?

Wrong.

Raiding the fridge or downing glasses of water after a night of heavy drinking won’t improve your sore head the next day, Dutch research suggests.

Instead, a study concluded, the only way to prevent a hangover is to drink less alcohol.

The bad news is: You will die with a headache. The good news is: It won’t be your fault.

BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

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BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!

“Lying.” “Disgusting.” “Scum.” “Slime.” “Corrupt.” “Enemy of the people.” Donald Trump has always made clear what he thinks of journalists. And it’s plain now that his administration intends to do everything it can to stop journalists from reporting things they don’t like—which is most things that are true.

No one gets to tell Mother Jones what to publish or not publish, because no one owns our fiercely independent newsroom. But that also means we need to directly raise the resources it takes to keep our journalism alive. There’s only one way for that to happen, and it’s readers like you stepping up. Please help with a donation today if you can—even a few bucks will make a real difference. A monthly gift would be incredible.

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