This Week in Stripper News

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August is generally a slow news time in Washington. But things seem to be picking up steam everywhere else—this week, for example, has brought us an abundance of stripper-related political news:

In Texas, a Ron Paul supporter placed a full-page ad in a local paper seeking women who have had sex with Gov. Rick Perry to spill the deets. The ad specifically calls for women who identify as a stripper, escort, or “young hottie.”

In Missouri, Republican Lt. Gov. Peter Kinder, who’s expected to run for governor next year, sought to dismiss rumors about a relationship with a “Penthouse Pet” by arguing that he only watched her dance. Apparently, objectifying a woman is worlds better than actually carrying on a relationship with her.

And last, but not least, the college student who drew attention last year when he was detained for stripping to his skivvies at a TSA checkpoint in the Richmond, Va. aiport to reveal the 4th Amendment written on his chest is suing the feds for mistreatment. Aaron Tobey’s lawyers allege that the “overbearing, heavy-handed and unfounded actions of security personnel violated free-speech and other constitutional rights.” The judge in the case said he will decide within the next two weeks whether to let the case go forward.